What is this washer? What? You heard me. What's wrong? What is this bow shirt? You like it. Where's the other bow that is? You don't like my shirt much like your eyebrows. So why did the man fall into hey, you're quiet man.

Why did the man fall into the well Because he was walking and he couldn't see that? Well, anyone push you. You like that one I couldn't see that one. No. Speaking of: DNA My grandmother is 80 Irish They call her Iris Get it, my other grandmother is 80.

Hindu They call her indu part of the issue. Telephone rough on that one. Bloody. This is solid.

Speaking of Colanders here. Take this. Speaking of calling into it, Sing into it. No, don't do that.

It was a trick. You'll strain your voice I Care about your singing. Give that back. Hold on one second.

My yoga instructor my yoga instructor is very drunk. very drunk still this morning for my session. What did the sushi say to the bee I don't know. wasabi.

What's up man I liked that one. Going to work tomorrow I Just got an email I read it I'm not going there anymore. Why? Because what they said to me I'm not going anymore. What did they say? You're fired I had to clean the vacuum.

Okay because it wasn't working. it was full of stuff. Okay so I cleaned it. Yeah, does that make me a vacuum cleaner now? Yeah.

I knew you were gonna see what a bloody dirtbag turn me into a sucker. Have you heard of Murphy's Law Yes. What you want me to show you Murphy's Law Yes, your video's over here. Huh? Have you heard of coleslaw? Oh there's Colonel Sanders If you pay a buck 99 for chicken, you'll get a salad.

Is that it? What did the blanket? What did the blankets say when it fell off the bed? Oh oh oh I think that's why you reminded me. Okay, here we go. So true, somebody in this house was possessed by an owl. Oh she did.

your yoga instructor was drunk from your session. Yeah, put me in a very awkward position. What the hell is downward lip cat? I'm not too many yoga instructor. so my friend Jose is an aspiring magician from Mexico He has this amazing trick where he disappears on the count of three.

he got into that box, he put that sheet and he did one two and then poof and they pull the sheet Jose gone. can't find him right? Why? no? Because Jose disappeared without a dress Safeway Jose Safeway oh my. God it's all over the news. They're investigating the man that died just now.

He fell inside a vet that was making a big falafel mix. They're investigating the homicide. Laughs? You have no Peter on this man, Huh? What did the sushi say to the bee I don't know Wasabi What's up I liked that one. You know why he's the one I Respect and listen to the most who Hulk Yes, Why? because he's credible.

Do you know what Peter Parker does for his day job web designer? My goodness, we are rolling with the superhero jokes. you know in honor of it being Thursday Let's go get hammered home. Drop! What do you call a man filling a jug with water Aquaman So not a man who got Botox in his face Philip What ball buster put your back into it? boom Oh I Have to go bathroom now. Yeah, you have to shake it before you put it away I Just had a crazy thought.

What if soy milk is just Spanish milk introducing itself? It's just saying hello. A cup and B cup? Sure a cup and B cup. They both look like B cups to me. Put in touch with my inner self today.

we really need to buy two ply tissue. Oh yeah I know I Have been learning sign language. It comes in handy you know what? I know I Just started only a handful of words. What do you call it Lim's Church Christian Bale what do you call it when Batman gets hurt Christian failed bruised Wayne What do you call it is in the bath James Bond Is in the bath the best one yet? What do you call it Batman is Bond Dark Knight right?.