We don't put tree toppers because normally we have to cut off the top of the tree, the top it doesn't. How do i buy gifts for people i don't like, but are obligated to buy for yeah your mother-in-law? What present do i get? My indian parents is you're asian or you're beijing. If the thought is all that counted people would look for things sold out and say, hey, i thought of getting this for you, no that's shameless! I'm getting everyone sold out good! Think about you. Take some.

What makes you happy walks and do things for yourself get your nails done, get your hair done why she has to do nails? How do you know she has nails? Everybody has nails, they don't have to be long. Are you laughing my god the things you make fun of okay, i'm moving on call me lack of tact, you're tactless. What's one tradition, you all do every holidays other than make fun of me huh. What do you do? I have no name, one tradition.

We do every year we make, we paint nine news. What we do tell me show with your hands. Show us your perfect ten fingers. You bloody show off.

We make peppermint cookies, we love them. They are shortbread with icing sugar and or like white ice you're. Looking at me for help on how you make these cookies, no i'm telling you i just eat and peppermint candy on top of them. They are delicious.

I eat them every year, they're great! Yes, they are delicious. The other one i like is. Every year we buy one ornament, yes, and then you write the year on it yeah and the first year you do it you're, like wow. This is lame, there's only one, but then before you know it, you have almost 20 of them mind blasted.

We have a. We have a lot of ornaments, very special ornaments, that's a great one. I have great ideas, you just say something about food and makeup. That was my idea, who said it.

You oh make cookies, make a peppermint cookie and something just because i didn't say that you pay you don't say it: you lose it. What are some last minute, gift ideas and they'll be sold out by the time this episode airs the seven pieces will be gone, but i don't know, there's not gon na be seven pieces go okay. What is it good, good gift ideas? Man draw a picture say when i was four. This was good enough for you bloody.

I drew you a photo. No, you know what people are really into this year and even before small businesses like yeah, buy someone a small business. Next, how do i not murder? My husband, no one thought you're actually gon na go, buy a bloody business. Please keep up with the show man.

How do i not murder my husband as he naps on the couch every sunday? Have you ever seen me nap on the couch on a sunday that you're making this face? Was it sunday bloody? You don't know how the calendar works. Does she say saturday napping she's, fine with the saturday naps it's a sunday, she wants to kill him, just eliminate him from your life on social media and then, if no one notices that you're going to care he's going to be sleeping. No. But then, if no one notices she can end him once i mean come on, you can't say that end him.

I mean like uh off his switch when i sing jack the halls, i'm not just read what these are words. Why are you insinuating? Things start over? Maybe they can't read properly the poor guy, don't make fun of more people. Now, when i sing deck the halls, all i can think of is deck. The balls in my normal you're perfectly normal you're, confusing with that other very well-known christmas song silver balls.

We've talked about that in the last episode. Wait, silver balls are silver belts. You get arrested, bloody children running on laughing super balls on the corner of the screen. Wrinkling yeah, there's a whole album here to be made right.

You need to just dial it back. A little so do you how to keep the christmas tree from falling over so we are. No, don't ask, don't ask us, we don't know the answer, not know the answer to this. I have bought three of these three holder things and two have failed.

This one. We're hoping for best luck! Yes, how big a christmas tree is to this show them again when the bloody tree is scraping, the ceiling it's it's bent over. You cannot put a tree topper, not big enough angel star or something else on the top of the tree. You do you whatever you like, we don't put tree toppers, because normally we have to cut off the top of the tree once someone said, can we cut a hole in the ceiling for this time of the year? There is a really cute tree, topper that i saw that i think i want to get it's a gnome and he's like holding the side.

This is what we do. We buy three side burgers, not tree toppers, because the top of the tree must this. Is the trees like this over here and at the top it doesn't? This is our tree. We just need bigger ceilings, just cut the hole, i've got the hole in the ceiling or by the gnome.

I'm gon na get the gnome that hangs on this side. You should be ashamed of yourself publicly saying these things, how many millions of people listen to what you say. What is the best way in your experience to keep everyone polite at family christmas gatherings? What should i do with family? We keep causing arguments. Take the mashed potatoes just throw in their face nothing like a good potato toss across when someone's causing trouble.

No, that's your answer. Yeah start a food fight yeah throw a potato in their mouth. No, unless it's at your house, if you're hosting you say uh excuse me uncle joe you've had too much to drink, please get out of the window, and then you close, the windows keep everybody busy. You know once i would give them chores to do yeah once again, can you go to the corner, store and buy this and then next and the other ones are going to return what they want to see.

I forgot just do that distract them they're. These maca monkeys don't know anything they forget. Lately i went to this party once and everybody was cooking and preparing the meal at the party trying to have a sip of my drink. Just can you let me finish what i want to say.

I don't know how to drink. I don't have straw, it worked. Okay finish so i went to this party once and everyone was all tasked with, like one small little thing to do. It kept people talking, but they were so focused on what they had to do.

That, like you, couldn't get into heated conversations. It was all superficial stuff if you have the kind of family that wants to just that needs to stay superficial. I think that's a really good way to do it. Yeah, if you have a type of family that can't talk to each other, give everyone stuff to do yeah uncle joe.

Do my taxes? Oh, like cut these mushrooms smash these potatoes, don't throw them match them. Open gifts, christmas eve or christmas day christmas day, dude. You should get one choice for a mediocre gift the night before it can get out of your system. No, i don't think so.

That's what you do. You say: okay, one gift today, don't pick a good gift from somebody. You love pick one from some relatives. You have one gift, then you can wait till the next day or you can start yeah.

It doesn't matter, but if you have multiple, particularly with some of these rascals that show up that, give you monkey pinatas, you open one of those the night before and you'll. Just you could do like your fun, swap no fun swap just get the one bad gift out of the way like children open the one that you know is clothes, maybe going back to that last question. That's the way to do it diplomatically. No, you say hey.

Why don't we do our like fun swap the night before and then we'll do like the good gifts in the morning? Oh, so you tell them straight out. Those are bad gifts, no like the fun gifts, oh yeah, the bad gifts, let's open them, i didn't say bad. I said fun. I think that's the way to do it.

There's your answer for those working in retail and dealing with annoying people. Is that a question? I think they're trying to know how do they handle it. I used to have a game that i played. Maybe if i worked in retail or i might be just making this whole thing up, you'll never know did you ever work, but the answer remains the same.

You tag up with one of your friends who also works in this job and you try and figure out who can make somebody buy the worst possible gift for their significant other ooh. That's fun. You say: oh look, what i made that jaguar for his wife, but that's a turtleneck. You know the itchy one that she's gon na for sure return it tomorrow, but he will feel stupid in the morning and that gives me solace.

Then you can see that's the game. How many of these people return the gifts within a week? How are they going to remember they stay there. They know the annoying people, they say hey, which annoying people returned. How do you get out of a conversation with that? Uncle who only wants to talk politics, get up and walk away.

You like causing fights hate talking about politics, just jesse like oh, i i just need to check on something in the kitchen. Oh, i think i want to eat one of those peppermint cookies i'll be right back and then don't come back and you leave just don't come back. I prefer a more like direct approach, so he knows you're not interested, like you run away. Pretend, as if you care and i'm the one who likes to start, i'm just saying this is what you should do.

That's what i think of you make sure the tongue hangs and swing side to side. Also because if you don't do that, it's not emphasizing the point, how do i get my mother-in-law to stop buying me clothes? Not my style, not my size, no gift receipt, i'm just to say thank you so much, that's very kind and if i don't like it or if it doesn't fit, i will re-gift it perfect. I won't even open it i'll give it to your mother-in-law. Like hey.

Look, someone gave this gift to somebody. I give it to you, i wouldn't open. If i were you, you want to roll the dice, you go for it, lady you're, so and then, if it is her gift, she'll be like wow. This is a gift, but i have the receipt.

I'm sorry she hates you. Otherwise she would give you the receipt. Oh, my god, how do i buy gifts for people i don't like but are obligated to buy for yeah your mother-in-law's come also, i'm glad you and your mother-in-law both follow us. You two stop behaving like this.

Catty behavior give her the bloody receipt chatty or caddy. You want to make fun of my body and also my pronunciation. This is your move for this episode. You should buy okay, i understand for these people.

Everybody gets good gifts, everybody's happy. What present do i get? My indian parents is that's what you get them. You're asian or you're beijing you're, the worst you're, the worst be honest. Is it really the thought that counts? Absolutely, not! Yes, i'm giving it wait.

Mickey mouse is coming. You know how far it's going to take me to go: hunt in the forest to find a dead animal, but it's not the hot effort, the effort to teach you the flaw in yourself. I had a question about effort. Is it the thought that really is the education? Yes, no.

What i'm teaching you something? No! It is not that hot. It is the thought, it's a gift that counts. It's the thought that counts. Okay, i thought of getting you something it was sold out.

You happy! I thought of getting it look. It sold out thought that counts here. Thumbs up, give me thumb here, you don't get it. You got a thumbs up there.

I thought of it. Yes, if the thought is all that counted people would look for things sold out and say: hey, i thought of getting this for you, no that's shameless! I'm getting everyone sold out good this year last year for everyone. I give toilet paper. I thought of you.

I thought of your dirty bum wanted to save you. Here's a lotto getting everyone bowls to throw water on their noses like this, the thought that counts, what a stinky thing that is don't be on the chair. This is won't be the first time this has happened, but, let's minimize it that's why i got the new leather chair, there's a thought that counts. Is it appropriate to make puzzles on christmas if you're staying in your parents? How can you not puzzle during the holidays? What kind of a question is this? Do you think your parents don't pass it? I need to meditate for five minutes.

We don't have to do. Look, look, don't cause a traffic accident. The vehicles are watching the vehicle pom-poms going left to right, left to right left to right left right. I hope in editing they can make it look like these cars aren't smashing into each other fake tree versus real tree.

So this is the victory. No. This is a real tree. This is the big conundrum.

A fake tree does not smell good, they have sprays for that, but it's better for the environment and it's much easier. How is it better for the environment because you don't have to keep cutting the trees, but they made the fake tree and then where's that fake tree going it's just going to go in your basement when it's done? No, but what, if you recycle it later and you throw it and go sit in a landfill, nobody does that they keep them. This tree is going to be burned, it'll be used as firewood uh. We like the real cheese.

I think it's the thought that counts. Just put a picture of a tree instead next year. That's what we're doing from now on how to spread the joy in christmas. Tell them how you spread the joy in christmas.

We pack joy boxes. We teamed up with this amazing foundation called spread the joy and we packed joy boxes for a hundred children in hospitals this year. That was fun, yeah spread the joy daughter. What do you buy an influenza for christmas evidence? I'm a bloody influencer, get them a sweatshirt.

If you weren't allowed to give cash for christmas, what would be an appropriate alternative gift? A tick tock account youtube subscription, you're gon na keep selling your own goods. What are you a pusher? Stop pushing your goods, i don't know what you're doing. Is it? Okay? To tell the kids that santa will kidnap them if they're on the naughty list. That's what you're supposed to do! Santa's, not going to kidnap your children.

What do you think elves are they're the naughty children that santa took back and kept them to forever god and what shrunk them? No they're, all small children's eyes they just stop growing elves are the bad kids from the naughty list that santa took and put a spell on them, so they couldn't grow anymore, so they only grow facial hair and they pack gifts for the rest of their lives. It is known, does trade ever buy gifts, or is it just cash hanging off the christmas tree for kids to pluck? The answer to both of these is no trit, doesn't ever buy gifts because i buy all the gifts and cash does not just hang off of the tree for kids to pluck that's a good idea, though it is a great i'm just going to put an envelope. Yeah yeah i'm putting 20 envelopes and you don't know the denomination of what's inside or the currency are one or two lucky ones will be there with like 20 dollars. If you could rename santa's reindeer, what would their names be? Do you even know the real reindeer names? No tell me like three of them: rudolfo, that's the main one with the traffic light on his face.

Elmer who's, elmer bashful, is that drastica that thinks he's so good. These are not the rangers. Those are good. This is the white's.

No, those are the other elves you're, confusing all your little people. What is it that make you two get along so well. Bros without homes see you next week, happy holidays wishing you all the best this season and it's my perfect vision. It's your perfect vision.

That must be it. You.